Fear or fear itself...

     For the last few days all i have been thinking is fear and what it means or doesn't mean if that makes sense. When i get these thoughts in my head they are all but impossible to get out unless i hammer them with something. Years ago it was drugs and alcohol that did the trick but those days are long gone im happy to say. Now it seems im working myself half to death On a side note for those that don't think trucking IS in fact work ride with me for a month but i digress.
    I cant seem to let go of the past when i used to do this and its making me mental even more so than normal. (i know that's not the P.C. way to say it but im not P.C. never have been never will be)  When i look over and see my lil one my heart races and my mind thinks and its a volatile situation and one that makes me nutso if i may steal a word from the Fonz. She is the most willing girl in the world and here i am wasting her talents and for what?? Fear of hurting her? Well what about the fear of not HAVING her?? Ever think of that one???? i bet ya didn't.
   All i can do is my best and im not. She is tired of hearing words and quite frankly im tired of saying them so like the saying goes it either put up or shut up and i don't shut up easy. 
    Can you tell me why Chinese food is so expensive???